Newsday featured an article about this Jersey girl who wrote a cookbook/memoir all about her grandmother's Italian recipes. She even self published it. I put my head down on my kitchen table & cried after reading it. My sobbing was probably a combination of a long hard double at the restaurant, that time of the month & feeling like one of my dreams had died. My tears have dried & Tom sat me down for a pep talk, so I'm in a better frame of mind, slightly. Then I remembered the reason I decided to put this project together in the first place. It wasn't to sell millions of books(though that would be nice), it was to preserve special family recipes, stories & memories so that each generation could enjoy, learn & laugh from them. Something has happened along the way - two things, actually. I've receive support & encouragement from people I've never even met. And the other is/was even harder for me to foresee - a special bond between my grandmother & I.

Momma & I didn't always see eye to eye on things(that is putting it mildly). We were in fact like oil & water - just didn't mix. Yes, of course we loved each other & shared good times, but we were from 2 different worlds. Hers is the land of never leave your hometown or family. Get a good job, find a man & have babies. Mine is... well I'm still trying to figure some of it out, but our visions of life are not the same. I can't tell you the amount of times we've argued over her "having a man makes you whole" theory or my, "I'm strong & independent & I don't need anyone" attitude. She used to look through the classifieds & call me in NY & say things like "They're hiring seamstresses at our local(R.I.) bridal boutique." or "You like to explore, so why don't you move home & become a travel agent. Then you could live in R.I. & visit the world." There have even been some screaming matches where words/curses were thrown at each other until it ended in tears. I'm not proud of those moments, although much was learned from them. Then things began to shift.

I called Momma & talked her about food, one of her great loves. I asked/begged for recipes & tips. I went home & spent time with her in the kitchen always watching her closely. She's truly a wiz. She can turn three ingredients into a gourmet meal. She's now use to my cooking visits. She waits & lets me measure ingredients & slowly demonstrates cleaning & prep techniques. There's lots of laughter, storytelling & yes, still some yelling, though the tone is not the same - the anger is gone. Our relationship has definitely changed. I'm not saying that we truly understand each other. There's just more of a respect & acceptance of our differences. Through this cookbook we've reached some common ground.
So, I would like to have the cookbook ready to give to her on Xmas Eve. At least the completed recipes & stories. The cover & pics can wait, if need be, until the actual publishing. I can't think of a better way to thank her & let her know that I will always treasure our time in the kitchen.

Posted by Dawn Falcone @ 9:00 PM 9 comments

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